Coping With Saucepans

It would be wrong of me to suggest that there is much that can be done. The best I can do is recommend general avoidance and mention some of the techniques I have found useful.

Flying Round and Round Inside Your Cage

This is the only real cure, and a dubious one at that. Having crashed around for long enough, most problems tend to go out of your mind for a while, only to be rediscovered soon enough.

Blowing Feathers at Them

This may be the reason why flying around is as successful as it is, thanks to the turbulence it creates. They have to go away for a bath, but reappear only too soon.

Screeching Loudly

If you are lucky, one of your people-pets will come and take them away, but usually they lack the sensitivity to understand what is upsetting you.

Writing to the BBC

Personally, I have never achieved anything by this. I don't know why I keep trying, but if you want to give it a go, don't let me put you off.

Writing to Problem Pages

A complete waste of time in most cases. Why do you suppose I started my own?