Selling Your Story

When you are in the public eye, as I am, you have to take steps to ensure that you are not constantly badgered by the press.

In the end you just have to give them what they want, at a suitable price. To this end I have sold my story to every major newspaper, at the same time giving my loyal fans several more opportunities to read all about me.

To be sure, none of the newspapers has actually paid yet or printed my story, but the plan has obviously worked because I have not been bothered at all by reporters in the mean time.

General Advice

A typical example of the kind of press intrusion I am talking about is this desperate, poor-quality, long-range photograph of me out on a fishing trip with some close friends. I am the beautiful one on the right.

I consider it to be quite shocking and it was in no way a pose and it really was me, obviously, but that's none of your business. I don't know why you are going on about it.