This is the worst part. You will be swung from side to side, thrown into the back of a taxi and taken out in the rain past several cat-monsters.

No sympathy is shown for you and you will have to be strong and get through it on your own. But it will be worth it if you don't let the trauma scare you into submission for the next week or two.

The neighbouring people-pets in your holiday home are not used to you, and some of them are on night shift, so you must make your presence known at all times by making as much noise as possible.

Fishing is one of the most important leisure activities that you can only do on holiday. Haven't you always dreamed of being a pelican or an albatross, swooping down and gulping them up?

Spending your holiday above your doting Aunty's fish tank gives you some of the best fishing a budgie could hope for.

This can easily be achieved if you put into practice all your flying and landing techniques.

Remember, your doting Aunty is too scared to grab you, particularly if you are hooked on. Fly only if it gives an opportunity to gain height. When you are within reach of Aunty, make sure you have a perch you can hook tightly onto. DON'T step onto the outstretched hand for any reason.

If you can keep this up for a few hours, Aunty will have no choice but to leave you out all night, with full access to the fish tank and a wide variety of domestic electrical appliances.