"It is not often that a novel brings tears to my eyes."

Also on Once Boiled, Twice Shy, along with my other twenty five romantic novels.

"[To get away with publishing twenty six novels which are absolutely identical except for the names occasionally being changed really is] a remarkable achievement."

On Angular 1997

"Probably no worse than one would expect from the genre."

Also on Angular

"The most self-indulgent heap of drivel I have ever reviewed."

On The Fall 1997

"The most remarkable feature of Doreen Bird's progression from romantic fiction to more philosophical work is that her writing has become, if anything, even more self-indulgent than before."

On Doz (first published as It's Grim Down South) 1998

"This shows remarkable similarities to my best known work; I intend to sue."

On The Doreen Bird Collection compiled 1998

"Doreen Bird's plagiarism knows no bounds, drawing on the works of innovative authors such as Stoker, Camus, Hines and Andersen, always with equally little understanding of their motivation and superimposing her own vanity and self-obsession on sad parodies of their work.

"This semi-autobiographical collection is perhaps of most interest to scholars who, rather than taking these works at their face value, might hope to gain an insight into the kind of changing literary world of the last two centuries that has influenced Doreen Bird.

"They will be disappointed."

Also on The Doreen Bird Collection

"Doreen Bird really isn't a very good writer."

On The Budgerigar 1998

"[This is hardly what you would call] a masterpiece."

On The Drayning Board 1998

"Her first name is slightly longer than her surname, which can therefore appear beneath it in larger letters. She will sell many horror and thriller paperbacks on this basis."

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